Regrets, mistakes and memories made.

Guys, I have a story to tell you today. One I’m not too happy about. If I could, I would take it all back but I guess that’s just not possible. So all I can do is try and fix it. Or move on. I’m not too fond of either option.

Because, A) I’m deeply ashamed of my social faux pas; and B) Cause I can’t move on without doing anything about it.

So I settled with option C) Writing about it and hopefully coming to a conclusion about what to do.

So this guy, let’s call him A, was one of my closest friends. I completely adored him and we always had a lot of fun together. We became friends when he started dating one of my friends and even after they broke up, we remained friends.

And then a few months later, I meet guy B. Now this guy is the first guy that ever had any sort of interest towards me. He was in his final yer of uni so we knew nothing could happen so we decided to just be friends. Well I liked him. He was nice.

One day, when A, I and some other people did something very stupid, we all got into a lot of trouble. Trouble with the wrong group of people. People who knew B.

(I know this is getting kinda confusing but please bear with me.)

I got called to an apartment where was being bullied by the assholes who couldn’t mind their own fucking business.

Apparently, he was forced to tell them names of everyone involved in the matter. And he told mine. So when they asked me if I was involved, my mind said ‘yes’. But the word ‘no’ escaped my lips. And they slapped for giving them false information. It wasn’t the first beating he got from the scumbag, but it was the first one he got because of me.

After the issue blew over, everything went back to normal. Except us. and I aren’t on speaking terms. Why would he talk to me after what I did?

The only reason I couldn’t tell them the truth was because it would reach and I didn’t want to disappoint him. I lost a friend though.

And I just want to tell why I did what I did. I just want to say I’m sorry. But I just don’t have the guts to. I’m so ashamed of myself. I’m so pissed at myself.

I’m a bitch.

But I need to apologize. I need him to know that I do feel sorry.

What have I done.

 

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